Tag Archives: frustration

Today I am GRATEFUL for:

IMG_2495 My best friend Jenna’s new Great Grand-Baby. Oh my goodness, it can’t be true. We can’t possibly be old enough to have great grands Jenna. But yes, I got a text a little while ago with a picture of one of God’s greatest miracles, a new born baby boy. I am so thrilled for Jenna and her entire family. Welcome to the world Rylen Murphy.

Progress.  A couple of days ago I told you about my frustration with a painting I am working on and how God is using this to help me work on a couple of my character defects like impatience and perfectionism.  This has all been mixed in with a bunch of negative prodding by the enemy telling me I am no good at this and never will be and that everyone else in the class has talent but me.

Yesterday I went to the studio during lab hours and worked for over two hours trying to recover what I lost by the mess described in the earlier post.  I made some progress but I still was feeling that there was no way I was going to get this finished in time for critique on Tuesday.

IMG_8945croppedI went back today and worked another two hours and I can honestly say I think I am almost there.  Lab hours are 4-9 tomorrow and I will be there when the door opens and will work until I am satisfied or until they run me out.  No lab hours on Monday so I have to finish it tomorrow.  Here is a snapshot of the still life – or rather the section of it I am painting. I hope I never see green paint again.  My fingernails are permanently stained. Great, I just saw something I did wrong today.

Molly who wants to go outside and play on this beautiful afternoon.  Later fellow bloggers and tweeters.

Prayer

I love you more everyday, as if that is possible.  Thank you for the beautiful new baby boy you gave to Jenna and her family.  He is quite beautiful and looks so healthy.  Thank you for continuing your work on my character defects.  Especially thank you that I am becoming more aware when you are trying to help me see where something needs to change.  Each change removes something that separates me from you and for that I am eternally grateful. You always have my back. 

Amen

Today I am GRATEFUL for:

Cat scan complete. The appointment scheduled last week to scan my brain was rescheduled to yesterday. I was dreading the test because I am a little claustrophobic.  I have been doing some relaxation techniques and they really helped.  Plus the machine was much more open than ones I have been in before when they did scans of my spine.  Still I am glad that is over.  Now it’s just waiting for the results.

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Sunshine.  We had a lot of blue sky and sunshine today.  I’m not saying we didn’t get rain, we did, but there were long periods where it was really pretty out. A nice day all in all.

Learning to work through frustration and not give up. I am really struggling with the still life we are working on in my painting class.  If you draw one thing in the wrong place or at the wrong angle in your underpainting, when you start to build the details it can get very confusing. I was getting lost in the shadows and highlights.  There were two pieces that were out of place, just slightly off in the forefront and one on the left side that caused chaos and frustration every time I tried to work on the folds in the cloth.

I did get very frustrated, but instead of giving up I went outside and walked around a few minutes then went back and talked with my professor.  He helped me uncover what exactly was causing my major problem.  I basically had to paint over about half of the painting with the background fabric color and start over.

This painting is to be critiqued in class on Tuesday which means I will be going to the studio during lab hours over the weekend to get it finished. When talking with my professor he said “remember it’s only a painting” and I commented “and I’m not even doing this for a grade.”  He laughed and said its just your personality. He knows I always want to do well. I am a perfectionist and expect way too much of myself sometimes. I really do need to learn not to take things so seriously. Wish me luck making something presentable out of the mess I have made.

Prayer

Father, thank you for the beautiful blue sky with puffy white clouds that I saw when I first went out today. It really was beautiful.  I am praying that the cat scan tells the doctors what is wrong so they know what to do to stop the headaches.  

I especially want to thank you for helping me to work through my frustration so quickly today and helping me to jump right back into working on the painting.  We both know in the past I would have more likely just stopped trying and said I couldn’t do it.  I felt those negative thoughts coming into play today.  Please help me remember that the negative does not come from you but from the enemy.

I love you and all the wonderful work you are doing in me. Who knew an oil painting class could be one of your tools.  

Amen